That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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