OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize