the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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