I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
