I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
