u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
