Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
