Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
