Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?