I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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