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Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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