I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
