Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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