I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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