dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
