but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
