she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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