your thong is hanging out like whoa
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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