i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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