Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
