Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
