sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
