LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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