i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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