Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
