What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
