The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
