Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
how does that bad decision feel?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
