and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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