Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
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Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?