ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You can't special order awesome
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
