Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(