I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.