I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
