me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
