He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
