You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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