I hate all girls vehemently.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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