So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
smell my finger.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
