found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
