I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
