I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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