hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
