Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
