I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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