So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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