In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
