Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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