there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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