What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
