He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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