when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
