i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize