The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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