I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?