Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize