1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
someone owes me an orgasm
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
