I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
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and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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