she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Drunk is a universal language darling
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
