dude i'm inner monologue high
Reggie can tackle my bush.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
