it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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