i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I cannot find my penis.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
