If i could tip my vagina, i would.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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