I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
