my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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