Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
