last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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