I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
