you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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