i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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