he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
