i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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