It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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